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An action figure of Ryan Newman spilling a bottle of sports drink. Butter fingers! How about something a little more official? Of course, there’s no substitute for a wakeboard — but this calendar can help you remember when it’s time to hit the … waves? (Or whatever it is that wakeboarders say). ITEM 1: Richard Petty autographed photo w/ Rick Wilson at the zoo You’ve often asked yourself: “How can I combine my love of NASCAR and passion for wakeboarding?” Look no further than this Dale Earnhardt Jr.-from-the-early-2000s-themed wakeboard. ITEM 2: NASCAR sheet metal No. 4 Kevin Harvick Jimmy John’s quarter-panel ITEM 8: Dale Jarrett No. 88 race-used tire side wall picture ITEM 3: 2003 Wheels High Gear No. 69 Greg Biffle rookie racing card Was your Mike Bliss Halloween costume feeling incomplete? No longer. How about a nice bandana instead? ITEM 12: Race-used Cougar hood ITEM 7: Mike Bliss Advair race-used fire suit There’s no telling what you could do when you show up to the race in an Official’s uniform. ITEM 4: Ryan Newman action figure ITEM 11: Dale Sr. knife set in metal tin car Protect yourself from sharp metal edges with a display-case protected piece of Happy’s car. ITEM 6: Ron Hornaday No. 2 pit board sign A novelty check for $25,000. If you successfully cash it, you’ve got a pretty decent return on investment. Alternative: WinCraft NASCAR street sign It’s probably a safer bet to show your love of NASCAR with a simple t-shirt than impersonating a race official. Trust me on that one. ITEM 10: Dale Jr. wakeboard Alternative: WinCraft NASCAR color frost key ring A piece of sheet metal from Kevin Harvick‘s Jimmy John’s car that just reads “Freaky.” Give the guests stopping by your racing cave the wrong idea. You might get a little more buy-in from your cohabitants with the alternative. It’s hard to beat actual seats from Daytona International Speedway. Alternative: Men’s NASCAR Classics light blue Richard Petty 80th birthday shirt Alternative: Men’s Kyle Busch orange M&M’s Halloween t-shirt ITEM 5: Dale Jr. NASCAR 3M Hard Charger Award It’s what you’ve dreamt of for the past 25 years — an autographed photo of Richard Petty. And Rick Wilson. AT THE ZOO. Want to show your love of Mike Wallace‘s tenure in Joe Falk’s No. 91 Spam Racing machine from the late ’90s? What better way than with a 20-year-old denim jacket? A Greg Biffle rookie card — No. 69, of course. Alternative: Greg Biffle pit row cornhole game set Alternative: NASCAR Superstore $25 Gift Card Alternative: Rusty Wallace black vintage car t-shirt BUY TICKETS: See the Daytona 500 live! RELATED: Read more Inside Groove ITEM 13: Kyle Busch ID holder Alternative: Dale Earnhardt checkered flag black name and number bandana Alternative: Dale Earnhardt Jr. 2017 wall calendar Finally! The answer to your longtime question: “Where can I find a photo of Dale Jarrett to put inside the sidewall of my tire?” Alternative: Dale Jarrett collectible lot of 15 trading cards You might be able to assemble all these trading cards on a piece of poster board, and enjoy 15 pictures of Dale Jarrett instead of just one. ITEM 9: Mike Wallace No. 91 Spam Racing denim jacket Alternative: Unsigned Kevin Harvick Fanatics authentic display case with race-used sheet metal What do we have here? If you guessed “a car resembling the late Dale Earnhardt’s that’s been stretched out in Microsoft Paint and has wheels that don’t touch the ground,” you’re right! While the photo would look great at your desk at the office instead of that picture of your family, a T-Shirt featuring The King might do a better job out in public. Holy heck! A genuine “Kyle Bush” ID holder! And you’d better believe it’s emblazoned with that famous No. 18 (well, a No. 18 that doesn’t really resemble the real thing). Alternative: Men’s Ryan Newman New Era black team relation knit beanieProtect your head from rogue sports drink spray. While Mike Wallace merchandise is hard to come by in this decade, you can always count on brother Rusty to come through with vintage shirts. It’s a hood. With a cougar. Alternative: Fanatics authentic Daytona generic chair with black track bottom Alternative: Men’s Fanatics branded black NASCAR t-shirt Greg Biffle cornhole. I think he would have wanted it this way. (And speaking of … ) ITEM 14: NASCAR race official race-used fire suit Of course there’s no true alternative to a complete Mike Bliss driver suit and helmet. Why have $25,000 in novelty dollars when you can have 25 real dollars’ worth of NASCAR merchandise? Does Ron Hornaday live in your neighborhood? Wave this sign out front of your house and find out — he’ll surely stop!